The Singing Warrior: By not Claiming Greatness, I Achieve Greatness

Posted on May 4, 2012 by

Greatness surrounds us/photo by T. O’Broin/Gairloch, Scotland

Yes, we are living on this earthly plain with all it’s challenges and conditioned limitations. Yes, I hear my friends saying…but it’s all very well to say that…we are in the real world here… Patterns in our lives are so pre-conditioned that we keep on going on the wheel because the alternative is too frightening. But what if you had the opportunity to achieve all that you wanted to achieve and be happy? Is the fear itself so overwhelming in us that it eats at the part of us that knows what is good for us? Can we trust the ‘perfect goodness’ that lies within all us warriors? Can we learn to remember what we have forgotten? Can we release the past that has limited us and defined us and move forward without limitation and definition? Yes. The answer is Yes. There are simply choices to be made. Choices that have consequences. Choices that release the weariness and heaviness of past baggage. Choices of compassion and moving to the light. Choices of mindful of daily living. Choices of attaining balance within the earthly plain. Choices of  not defining but re-defining. Choices of letting the twisted knots loosen. Choices of letting the sharp edges become smooth. The sun is softened by a cloud. The darkness is honoured by the light. The dust settles into place after a great sand storm. The tree grows from one seedling. The tower grows from one brick. Trust in all that you are and shall be. Because I know that I do not know, I am guided to find my own way. Greatness is all that  we are and can be. Fellow warriors, the evidence is that our earthly plain is suffering from our choices. It is time for all of us to be the Greatness we are and take the journey of a thousand steps together as one. NamasteNiamh

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The Singing Warrior: I See when there is Nothing to See

Posted on April 29, 2012 by

It is not the vision in the distance that sweeps the lens of the eyes

Sometimes our lives are so busy we miss what is in front of us. I have learned on this Sacred Journey that what we think should be in front of us, often is not. The lessons that we learn are always learned in retrospect when we realize why certain events happen.

I see now. In the Avatar film, the heroine says: ‘ I see you’. Many warriors will travel their journey blindfolded because they choose to do so. Others will struggle with the possibility of seeing and the choices to be made. Many of us will choose to ‘see’ and inspire others to also take off the blindfolds and awaken. It can take a lifetime or not.

I sat at my little brasserie and drank my beverage. She walked slowly, deliberately, her shoulders haunched and her face gaunt. I greeted her and she greeted me back. I heard her English accent and asked how long she was living in the Netherlands. Her reply was ‘Too long’. I saw her. I saw a lady exiled in herself. A lady who had given up on life. We proceeded to have a conversation and she felt lighter. A lone wolf needs the pack. She thought the pack had given up on her. I told her that this was my regular place to chill. She was always welcome to drop by and have a chat. She does.

I passed a woman in a motorized wheelchair with an oxygen tank. I smiled. I walked on further. I heard the sound of the machine behind me. She asked me where a particiular street was? I see her. I stopped. We had a wonderful conversation. She was an artist and still paints every day. Her lungs are incapacitated. She had lived a full life but was afraid to die. We discussed her fears. We parted.

On our Sacred Journey, we make many choices to see or not to see. To hear or not to hear. It is these moments that give us greatness in our hearts and others, if we choose to take them on board. It is not the greatness of great deeds that fell the battlefields. It is the small visions of seeing you in everybody else. It is the possibility of seeing what needs to be seen. The possibility of hearing the words that need to be heard. That is the greatness of our Journey, our return to our soul-self that we have forgotten.

Have a great Queen’s Birthday by the way. To celebrate is to embrace humanity and see the joy or sadness.

Namaste

Niamh

Foto made by T. O’Broin, my brother in Gairloch, Scoland. Thanks my elder brother.

 

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The Singing Warrior: What Now? Live in the Now…

Posted on April 22, 2012 by

Always light in the shadows/photo T. O'Broin/Gairloch, Scotland

I have learned on this journey that when one is overwhelmed by the feeling of total powerlessness, surrender is the only possibility. When I surrendered to the screaming inside my head of ‘What now!’ I relinquished all control over a situation, a perception. When I sat with a feeling of total despair four years ago at my brother’s kitchen table and screamed out my vulnerability, my total feeling of not knowing, not understanding, it was the beginning, not the end. Sometimes, we need to experience a tsunami in order to shift our soul journey into gear. Painful as it might be, the consequences of total surrender is replaced by a re-birth, an enlightenment. We need sometimes to hit rock bottom, to have everything taken away, in order to re-build, re-connect, re-alize. I was always planning for the future. Always running ahead to what I wanted my future to be. Ironically, I was so busy planning that I missed great moments in the present, in the now. Perhaps many of us distract ourselves by planning ahead. It is a sort of controlled way of thinking so that we convince ourselves that that is how our lives should go. We want it to go that way. We even will it that way. How further from the truth is that! I have since learned on my new journey that I choose to take the new daylight that faces me as it is. Yes, there are certain appointments in one’s diary that need to be written down but I tend to have blank pages for months in advance. It does not serve me any more.  I honour the days in the week, not the months of  next year.  How many warriors save and plan for their retirement, only to be felled by ill-health or even death? They feel that they have been robbed of something but have they not let it be stolen from them? How many parents(I hear them echoing) say ‘when the kids leave home, we will….’ Yes, waiting for another phase in their lives that might never happen. The kids decide to stay on for another 10 years (it happens a lot because of economical factors).  Other excuses not to ‘live in the now’ pop up constantly. ‘We will take a holiday but first the house needs re-decorating… I would like to… but…. It’s all right for you to say but I have to…..first…. The time is not right now butwhen I am xx years, I feel that that will be the right time….. To be mindful of the Now. To honour the time in the present. To take that simple step and make the choice to do so. We create obstacles in our path that are not there. To practice the art of giving and taking in the now. To transform our patterns and perceptions now, not in the future. To create possibilities that seem impossible today, but are possible tomorrow and are our dreams of the future. Yes, to live in the now, to know how. To know how to be compassionate and loving, To walk in the forest today despite the weather forecast that is given. To give yourself permission to enjoy the evening, not the planned evening three months in advance. To whisper those words of apology or regret today, not the planned telephone call of tomorrow.  Yes, my fellow warriors, I wish you a wonderful day. A day of having lived for today. An evening that when darkness descends, a sigh of contentment escapes from gentle lips. Tomorrow’s drums have not beaten it’s rhythms. The rhythms of today must echoe and disappear softly first. NamasteNiamh

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The Singing Warrior: Confrontation then Compassion

Posted on April 20, 2012 by

Camping in the Highlands

I have just come back from an amazing sort of ‘spiritual retreat’, camping in the Highlands in Scotland. A place called ‘Gairloch’ stole my heart.  I say that metaphorically but in a sense my heart was ‘stolen many years ago.  Sometimes, we must retreat to entreat. To recover to discover. 

The sheer ruggedness of the mountains and the power of the sea confronted me with parts of me that I chose to ignore. It’s always difficult to confront the last remnants of what holds one back. Of what keeps one from moving forward. Camping is a fanststic way of letting go of home comforts and just ‘be in the being’.

Pitching the tent in a downpour. Having no control of the weather. Having to surrender completely to Nature. And boy, she was determined that I would see my conditioned limitations!!! I struggled with everything. Waiting for a kettle to boil seems interminably long when one’s teeth chatter and and impatience rears its ugly head.  Getting up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, having to unzip a stubborn sleeping-bag and many more unzippings until one reaches ones’s destination – a building up a very steep hill and me panting outrageously and fuming like an ancient dragon!!

Yes, I surrendered. I gave in, and one afternoon I collapsed in a heap on my air-mattress and cried and sobbed uncontrollably. My brother Turlough helped me to confront the inevitable. ‘You are not fit Niamh. You are fighting yourself”. HIs words rang true but I didn’t want to hear them and I shouted and howled more. I tried to get up and yes, the Universe hammered me yet again. I bounced back on the now incredibly difficult air bed. I couldn’t get up. I punched at the stupid thing. I bounced back again and my two legs unceremoniously flew in the air. My young nephew, Calum happened to come in to the tent and burst out laughing. He saw his Aunt with two very undignified sturdy legs in the air and I laughed too. But soon the laughter turned to tears.

Confrontation time. How can I help others when I stubbornly neglect myself? To Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk. How many blogs have I written and tried to inspire others? I felt like a fraud.  The time had come to take stock of me. To realize that I cannot heal others without first being fit and healthy myself. I have given so much and felt empty. Many tears later and a hot cup of tea in hand, I smiled at my wise brother. He too is on a very special journey of his own. We embraced and he handed me a Nordic walking stick. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach” and we did. We held a ceremonial fire later that night and drummed and rattled to the sound of the celtic waves behind us. A very special time indeed!!

I thank Mother Nature for giving me a very needed lesson. We cannot help others without first helping ourselves. It is the only way forward. My weight is the last protection that I have built around me. I chose to let it go in Scotland. I don’t need to suffer it any more. It is time to let my protection go. I am strong enough to do so. I know that.

I gave a book presentation in Aberdeen about The Singing Warrior and for the first time mentioned my weight. I told the participants that I was still healing and that my weight was the last fortress to leave. It felt good. I felt compassion for the first time for ME. I am not going to beat myself up any more. I deserve to love myself.

My heart has been de-frosted by the breath of the dragon. My heart is back to me again.

Fellow warriors, thank you for helping me on my journey by your loyalty and love. We all need support and love. I would like to acknowledge EmerMcAuley-O’Broin (my sister-in-law) who did major soul retrievals and lots more on me. Thank you Emer, who is a shamanic practitioner. I experienced incredible healing.

Remember Compassion and Love for self. I take my lessons on board in Gairloch. Thank you Mother Nature for confronting me. Namaste – Niamh

How can you not listen?

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The Singing Warrior: Discovery is not in seeking the new but in having new eyes

Posted on March 28, 2012 by

What do you see? What do you not see?

We are constantly reminded of interpretation of words. Interpretations of the Bible or Koran. Interpretations of Art. Interpretations of what we think we see. A painting or a poem has so many different meanings to the individual. Communication between our fellow warriors can be misunderstood or misinterpreted. Once words have been spoken, the intent cannot be taken back. They can linger a long time in the minds of others.

The gift of ‘free will’ and thinking for ourselves differentiates us from animals. Unfortunately, so many of us tend to have our judgements ready, and our patterns are repeated from generation to generation. Transformation within ourselves is not easy. It requires ‘choice’ and ‘discovery’. There is nothing more confrontational than confronting ourselves.  Our ‘Mindfulness’ of  our thoughts, deeds and actions. The ‘possibility’ of changing how we think or feel.

This excerpt from my book The Singing Warrior shows that it only takes one person to help you shift your interpretation on life. The nuns had told me from the time I was five ‘who I was’. Ronka, a Nigerian student, said only one sentence to help me change my mind about me. I was ten years old.

“Are whores allowed to live in your country?”

Ronka was shocked. ‘That is only a word, Niamh, and you are much more than words”. It was the nicest thing that anyone had ever said to me. She lifted my hand and began to read my palm.

“Niamh you will live a long, happy life and will have many children.”

I took her palm in my hand and traced the light brown lines. “Ronka, you will marry a white prince.” I told her. She was not pleased.

“Niamh, I am destined to marry a black prince with dark curling hair.” she said.

So, I changed my predictions and we laughed.

Ronka knew at such an early age what her destiny would be. She was ‘empowered’ to think of great things for herself. I, on the other hand, struggled because of my abusive past. If we are told often of who we should be, it is a process of ‘discovery’ to find out who we really are.

I go forward with ‘new eyes’ in all my discoveries. Interpretations limit our possibilities. Limitations limit our choices.  Our Sacred Journey is one of non-limitations. To go forward in ‘love and compassion’. To heal the wounded warrior in yourself first. To help other wounded warriors find their own healing. To place no judgements on others. To facilitate but not create journeys for others. It is through our own actions that we create reactions. To inspire oneself and others to live our lives daily with good intent and integrity.

We are the ancestors of tomorrow. Our young warriors learn from the wise. They will embrace all that is all-embracing. Their ‘empowerment’ is the beacon of light that facilitates the next generation. You are much more than words. We are much more. We are.

Namaste

Niamh

 

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The Singing Warrior: Sunshine, Poetry and a lot of Homesickness

Posted on March 26, 2012 by

A wreath of sunshine surrounding my words..

We all have our days of reflection, nostalgia, melancholy. My day is today. I think of all the things I should be doing but don’t seem to get done. I think of all the wisdom that I share and don’t share with myself. I think of all the summers that have passed and all the sunshine that was shared. I am a warrior having a Wounded Warrior day. And, you know what? That’s okay. The tick of the clock reminds me of my convent days, watching the minute hand, praying that school would end. The apartment reminds me of ‘closed spaces’. I remember open fields and lots of spaces. My teenager daughter’s stay in the USA, reminds me of letting go and re-defining what motherhood is all about. The young warrior is taking flight. The poem that I have written reminds me of painful moments, heartwrenching memories, but needs to be written down. No recriminations. No bitterness. No hate. NO WAY HOME The lights go out over the cityA city I now call homeAn embossed envelope greets mewith a bill for a burglar alarmThe locks have been changed on thehouse I used to call homeThe printed letters gloss overthe blackness creeping into my soul Laughter explodes in my memory banksof times not so long agoWhere my green garden blossomed androses peeped through the french doorsI gaze out over the grey balcony, concrete and unlovedA small potted herb plant makes its presence knownamongst the broken bricks and stands forlornThe wind caresses my cheeks as the wetnessspreads downNo Way Home I honour my memories today. I honour my sadness. These gifts have been given for me to learn and to move on. I honour my memories, good and bad. My homesickness is only an emotion. A temporary feeling of being slightly lost. But through our vulnerability, we learn to relinquish and to surrender. We learn that life’s Spirit has always duality. To learn to recover. To learn to embrace the challenges as they are. More steps on our Sacred Journey.  The Singing Warrior will sing again. Time to move on. Namaste Niamh

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The Singing Warrior: Is Blood thicker than Water?

Posted on March 20, 2012 by

Just put a bandaid on it....

I was at the local hospital this morning having my blood tested. I get a regular check-up because of my thyroid. I sat there waiting patiently for my turn. I had pulled my ticket from a digital machine with a number on it. My number was A 470. It was quiet and suddenly, people of all ages started coming in to the area and sitting down. It became so full that people had to stand. Young pregnant women, older men and women, young children. Actually, as I observed everybody around me, it was a cross-section of our whole society. Why have so many people health issues? I was amazed that so many people were being tested. The Netherlands health service is such that one must go to the doctor first and then he fills in a form which one takes to the hospital. So all these people had potentially something wrong with them. I was sitting in the midst of our society. A sick society. It struck me like a thunderbolt. We are embracing ‘sickness’ as a definition of who we are. The blood of the warrior’s scar heals the wound. I gazed down at my gauze and sticky tape. Six capsules of blood were taken from me.  I am also a part of our society. My thryroid is a direct result of my turbulant past, no doubt about that. However, am I just taking the easy way out by medicating myself? I really don’t know. I question so much about the obvious now. An incredible sadness overcomes me. How have we come so far that our blood, the essence of us, is unhealthy and crying out for medical attention? If we were part of an indigenous tribe somewhere in the jungle, we would have no access to all this testing. We would automatically eat less, drink more, go to the local medicine man and he would fix us a pick-me-up. Our bodies would give us the messages and we would know ourselves what would be good for us. Now, I am sitting waiting like the rest of our society, for results. We are so far removed from our own power houses that our own healing potential is now regulated by needles and machines. Am I going mad? A young girl of about five years of age comes screaming out of the ‘needle’ room. Her mother pops a lollipop in her mouth to soothe her. An older gentleleman moves to the coffee corner after his ordeal and I see him drinking a large cola. A young pregnant woman has fainted after her ordeal and is sitting sobbing in a corner with her young partner. What will the results be? I want to run. I want to get away. I tear off my bandaid and walk into the sun. I havn’t got the answers but my gut feeling says that the answers remain simple. I don’t want to be part of this patient patience. I don’t want to wait for results. I’m done waiting. NamasteNiamh

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